dear wizard,

I want to write a book but I fear that I will not be able to accomplish this feat!!! You’re a supposed fountain of wisdom—you are a Wiz after all— and we all know what wonderful powers you have. So please tell me: What does a young writer do?!?!?! Where does She start? no one ever told me I could do it. But no one ever told me I couldn’t do it. I’m Afraid.

What do you do when you’re Afraid? How do you make your spells Polished to Perfection??? I want my words to SHINE like GEMZZZZZZ. Well like diamonds really. I want everything to SPARKLE.

Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You’re supposed to know the deepest mysteries of existence, or so my bestie’s mom said — she said that a true Wiz knows nearly everything— so tell me how I can make my DreamzZzzzz come true. No one else really believes I can do it (even tho they don’t say so).

Please,

Polly Perfection (she/ her)

Dear Polly,

I am quite an old wizard. I don’t like to brag how old. (I turned 999 last year). In my many years upon this earth, I have learned many things and I have become good at a few of them. My point is that even at my auspicious age: I am not perfect. No one is perfect. Not even an old curmudgeon like me. Wizards in general may know many things, but are imperfect as anyone else.

Your bestie’s Mama may have overstated my knowledge as I only know what I have studied. And seeing as you are wishing to become a wizard and want to unlock the mysteries of the universe, I think I can help make that happen.

What, I would like to see you do is to follow the steps I list below and I think it will help you:

1. Find your Grimoire
2. Open up your Grimoire
3. Find an appropriate spell (I recommend something simple like lighting a candle)
4. Gather the components of the spell (if anything other than the incantation is required)
5. Practice the spell
6. Repeat

While practice does not necessarily make perfect, without practice it is very difficult to become good at mastering the arcane arts. I did not become a wizard overnight and neither will you. We all need practice. It is one of the things that makes us human. (I know: barf, but fairy farts, it’s true). I hope that you find this reassuring as you look forward to your studies in the mysteries of the universe.

There is an entirety of existence out there for you to find. And you don’t ever have to be perfect to discover it. No one does. That is the wonder of our Universe. We all get to unwrap it’s mysteries.

I would think you might want to consider asking your parents to enroll you in a good school of arcane arts. Or perhaps you can find some friends with which to practice. I suggest this since you seem so keen on keeping your studies in stasis rather than working upon them that having others around you to help you practice may spur you to action.

Happy Practicing. I’m off to go and practice a new spell myself.

Sincerely,
A Wizard