Why am I even writing this novel? It’s completely RIDICULOUS! No one will ever believe it. No one will ever buy it. Why should I keep going through this complete slog? I feel like I swimming in jello or walking in quick sand every time I sit down to write this damn novel.
Help me! WTF should I even do?
How can I write when every shadow of every doubt is clawing at my mind?
Helpless Harrow (she/ her)
Learning the mysteries of the universe is largely a slog. No one tells us this when we decide to become wizards. Copying grimoires. Learning spells. Gathering components. Teaching the next generation. However, every wizard has their doubts.
Every single one. If they tell you they don’t have doubts then they are lying to you. They do.
Self-confidence isn’t about not having any doubts about your work, about your practice or your ability to reveal the secrets of the universe. We revel in the mysteries of the universe.
Self-confidence is standing with yourself as you feel this doubt and continuing your studies anyhow. It is trying that failed spell one more time. Sitting down to copy over your entire grimoire once again because your damn familiar (I’m looking at you Lucifer) spilled coffee all over your last copy.
Self-confidence is showing up in spite of the doubts. A slight bit of faking it until you make it. And a pinch of just doing it anyways. You are capable. You are swimming through the mysteries of the universe and walking amongst the stars. All you need to do is take a deep breath and believe in yourself. (Fairy farts that sounds hokey).
Nevertheless, its true, because the doubts will always be there. Sometimes they will be louder. Sometimes they will be quieter, but they will always be there. So, you must push through as best you can. And yes, some days it will feel like muddling. And other like grinding. However, I want you to know, that for every day your grind there will be days your walking on the moon because you believed in yourself. It is a delicate balancing act that we all must do. But, I believe in you.
Now, you must believe in yourself.
Get to the work of revealing the secrets of the universe, fellow wizard.
For you never know what you shall find.